Insomnio

Dogs. Again in the distance i could hear them, as a hunting party howling to an inexistant moon, those howlings echoing in the corridors of a house that in other times was full of life, but now empty only with my existance as a habitant. In the day, it was better, copiusly ammounts of light entered from the big windows in the company of a soft breeze, but in the night when the sun was hiding and the last breathes of a winter that did not want to go so easily, the same story of not been able to concile a good sleep appeared, moreover that night of a new moon.

As a routine, in this kind of nights, I get up and start to walk. I pass by the bathroom where a shadow in the mirror welcomes me, my reflection, a diluted image of my persona, clearly the years did not helped in my skin. I move on the corridor where the silence is so big that engulfs the sound of my steps, I cross Ofelia's room, that was decided to conserve as the last time she inhabitated it before walking into the sea, leaving this life before expected. Maybe some day i will take the courage to dismantle the room, that monument to the intemptemities of the life and the ocean

After spending some time thinking about her, I come back to myself and move on, attracted by the sound of the fridge always present where I go to faithfully do the ritual of opening it, look into it with a blank mind and close it as nothing happened, I never knew why, if hunger does not attack me, but is the ritual, and "How I'm going to concile with the sleep again if I dont do it", I say to myself while a smirk appears in my face

I look for the window of the kitchen, and I see waves forming and then impact fervourosly against the rocks, How many men good and bad, greedy and generous, will have lost their lives in that place, I wonder. And without being able to answer myself, the dogs howl again, but this time with a note of happiness. Surely they found a prey from where to feed, good for them that can found happiness with something as simple as a full stomach, would love that to be my case but it's been quite a while since happiness comes to me, happiness I say? It's been quite a while I do not feel anything, and I dont even try anymore to feel again. I have things more important to attend.

Slowly, I come from where I came, retreating myself from this useless ritual that each night happens and I can not avoid. I go to bed and keep thinking, trying once and for all find the way after all this years solve what I cant. But its impossible, I dont even remember what ties me all nights to this place. Ofelia? The dogs? The sea? I dont know and I might be here forever, without remembering, without resolving. Nothing more than a ghost tied up to the terreneal life that only transit for the spaces of his house for all eternity